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Tuesday, November 05, 2002
Andy Vs. Roger: the Showdown Continues
I don’t know who among you guys told Andy about the blog, but he found out about it somehow, and he found out FAST. Less than a day after I posted Roger’s defamation of Andy, Andy caught wind of it and left me a long string of seething IM’s while I was out giving Steven a ride to Capital University here in Bexley for his trumpet lesson. Here’s what’s happened so far:
Andy says that a wet bar of soap on ice would have a coefficient of friction of almost 0. Roger blasts back with:
Vorlon says: andy is bad at physics
WA-BAM!
So now the showdown continues. Don’t you hate it when you type a bunch of exclamation marks in a row but you let go of the Shift key just a hair too soon and it puts a 1 instead of a ! at the end of your statement and it just throws the WHOLE thing off, like this?
BadHair17: Toss a wet bar of soap on a sheet of ice... NO FRICTION!!!!!1
KA-POW! And that’s not all! This stunning smash is followed up later with:
Auto response from Chessmen15: Giving Steven a ride to Capital!
Erm, no. Wait. Lemme find it here…okay, here we are. This stunning smash is followed up later with:
BadHair17: You'd have to be a total moron to let to soap "freeze" to the ice.
BadHair17: Although it was Roger, so....
BA-ZONG!! Andy implies that ROGER IS A MORON! Youch! Quite an overkill in my opinion when you consider that all Andy had to do was find a decent comeback to “andy is bad at physics.” Lay it easy on the punches, there, Andy!
We now have Andy’s retort to Roger’s scathing blows, and I can’t wait to see what kind of weaponry Roger will bring forth in his upcoming retaliation. More of Andy’s comments:
BadHair17: It's one thing to tell somebody they're wrong [referring to the fact that Roger talked to me instead of telling Andy himself], but to tell other people that
somebody is wrong, it shows that they're so uncertain about their answers, that if they were to tell the actual person, the ideas would be shot down right away.
BadHair17: This fear shows, without a doubt, that Roger was, and still is, WRONG!
BadHair17: And please inform Roger so that he can defend his previous statements...I give the people *I* argue with fair warning. [emphasis added]
Roger, you have been informed! Now, I have a few issues with some of Andy’s comments:
BadHair17: Furthermore, your blogs ARE long
BadHair17: It shouldn't take me that long to scroll through them.
BadHair17: So dang long
BadHair17: It's crazy
When I got to this point of writing my blog, Andy came back from wherever he was and started talking to me online. I was annoying and he got mad at me and signed off and I don’t think he’s gonna read my blog anymore. By the way, it was his girlfriend, Mandy, who, believe it or not, really exists, that told him about the showdown, so that’s how he found out about it.
Moving on with the blog. I have one word for you, Andy—never mind that you’re never going to read this blog, but whatever; I have one word for you nonetheless—pumpkins. Isn’t that a cool-sounding word? Pumpkins? Yes, pumpkins. Pumpkins. I also like: sucrose. It just sounds so luscious. Sucrose. Sucrose. Mmmmm. Sucrose. But really, though: margins. Yes, margins. Look at them. Aren’t they frickin’ huge? Now, if you take a normal, two-page essay and put 25” margins on it, you know what will happen? The essay will disappear completely because the paper is only 8½ inches wide. But if you put that essay into this blog template, whose margins are only about 78 feet thick, what happens is that the essay is squeezed down and therefore looks much longer than it actually is. As for the scrolling, the scroller on the blog page is slow because there’s a ton of crap all stuffed into one page and that makes it lag, and don’t even TELL me that “scroller” isn’t a word, you stupid dumbass word processor!! ARRGGG! BILL GATES SHALL DIE! Or at least whoever it was that compiled the dictionary for this stupid thing. Maybe from now on I’ll just type my posts directly into the blogger page, risks be damned. Or maybe not. Oh well.
Finally, Roger: you need to get AIM. Now. Because I think after this Andy will never talk to me again, so you’ll have to sort out this wet bar of soap thing with him directly, and there is NO WAY Andy’s getting MSN, because I pestered him about it for years to no avail, so you’ll have to be the better person here and just head on over to www.aim.com and download the stinking messenger. Yeah, I know, MSN is way better, but these are the sacrifices we sometimes have to make in life.
To summarize:
Andy says: wet bar of soap + ice = coefficient of friction is 0
Roger responds: the soap freezes to the ice. You’re bad at physics.
Andy shoots back: well, you’re just a moron for letting the soap freeze.
What will Roger say next? Tune in next week to find out! Or whenever I get around to doing it. Might be tomorrow, might be January. Who knows.
BUT WAIT!! THIS JUST IN!
Vorlon says: in order to keep from freezing heat would have to be expended, thus friction would have to exist for that heat to exist
Vorlon says: in conclusion: you're bad at physics too
All right, folks. This is getting out of hand. I don’t even know if you can make sense of this blog entry anymore. But now it’s personal. First of all, Rogey, I’m just the middleman here. Did you ever see me pick a side? No. You have no grounds for saying I’m bad at physics. And okay. You throw the wet soap onto the ice. Initially there’s no friction. It slides indefinitely. What, you think the soap, as it’s sliding there, is just gonna FREEZE instantly to the ice and stop?! It would leave a wet trail along the ice. Sure, the water would freeze later, but by then the soap wouldn’t BE there anymore!! It’d be farther down the ice! The only way it would stop the soap and freeze it to the ice is if the ice was so cold that it could freeze water INSTANTANEOUSLY. I don’t think it does that. Maybe YOU’RE bad at physics, huh?
Or maybe I’m just an idiot. MR. LOGSDON!! PLEASE COME HERE AND CLEAR THIS UP!!
Erm, wait. He’s the biology teacher. This isn’t a biology issue. Who’d we need? Physics? Chemistry? Maybe one who does both…
MR. MINOT! PLEASE COME OVER HERE RIGHT NOW AND RESOLVE THIS!!! Because now Andy hates me and Roger will in a second and I just want to find out if a wet bar of soap will freeze to the ice or not, dammit! Okay. We’re starting a poll. Email me at chessman@columbus.rr.com. You don’t have to put anything in the email. Just put a “yes” or “no” as the subject for whether or not you think the soap will freeze or not. Okay? Thanks! And now I’m gonna post this freaking blog already because the longer I leave it unfinished the more stuff keeps coming up. What have I started?!
.: posted by Boris 6:55 PM
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